Monday, June 13, 2011

How Not to Get Plastic Explosives Through The Airport

So as not to keep you in suspense and to save the anti-terrorist guys some time in having to read my blog to find out whether or not I'm serious, I'll simply say, don't try to smuggle it through TSA inside a brick of Tillamook Cheddar Cheese. Colby or Swiss w on't work either.

I'm on my way to Tahiti to help my friend Bruce sail is boat, Far Fetched, from there to Western Samoa. Bruce asked me to bring several hard to get things as well as some boat parts he needed. I decided to throw in a few things I thought might be hard to get.

So there I was, going through TSA security at SeaTac with almost nine pounds of cheese in three bricks in my backpack. In my carry-on I had cardboard box and inside it was a black box full of electronic gizmos, a fluxgate compass and another metal box with knobs and dials. You would think TSA would be interested in that stuff. They couldn't have cared less. All they wanted was to sniff the cheese. They took the cheese out of my backpack and rubbed it with some kind of pads that apparently will absorb traces of any kind of explosive. Happily the cheese turned to be...cheese. Just think, if the folks at Tillamook had been clever enough to play a little joke on me I might not be sending this from the boat.

So, the cheese made it through. But then they wanted to screen my backpack again. They asked me if it had any hidden compartments. Not that I knew of. Finally, they came up with the culprit. A 12 oz. plastic squeeze bottle of Heinz sweet pickle relish. Sorry, gonna have to take yer relish. "Enjoy the hot dogs," I said. The agent smiled and said, "Wish we could, but we can't."

So, would-be terrorists, don't try sneaking the cheese through security. Won't work. In fact I had to go through the same thing again when I got to LAX. They are not lax at LAX.

On the other hand if you have a bunch of funny looking electronic boxes, you might get those through. Oh, guys, if you're still reading, they were autopilot parts for the boat.

radio email processed by SailMail
for information see:


Post a Comment

<< Home